Friday

After the part about Veronica, I noticed a shift in the way Tony talks about his life. Part One makes him sound like he was an indifferent, yet intellectual and calm young man that never really let anything bother him too much. Though that may be consistent throughout his life, it is safe to say that age turned Tony into a character more relatable to the underground man. He always refers to Adrian as superior to him; as someone who was more clever and academic than he was, but never really saw this brilliance in himself. I noticed many contradictions in Tony’s judgment of his life; one being the feeling of nostalgia. He first says that he is not a nostalgic person, and then takes this back and says that he is extremely nostalgic. I also think he may have enjoyed his childhood more then he believes; or maybe his memories are fooling him as they do to most people.

I like the fact that Tony keeps stressing that the events he speaks of are only the way he remembers them and that they may have not occurred in that exact way. This is something that happens very often when people speak of their past, but I have never really heard anyone acknowledge it. We sort of depress ourselves when we make things seem greater than they actually were. Tony reminds me of myself sometimes, when he talks about his ongoing nostalgia. Humans tend to live in regret, wishing they were in the past. This is a rather depressing thought, and makes me sort of cynical. If we are always living in our past, how will we ever enjoy our present? My opinion on Tony changes from sometimes thinking he is depressed and bored, to other times believing that he is really just indifferent and going with the motions. Maybe, like the underground man, he is rendered inactive due to his inability to choose a path to take. Or maybe I’m looking too deep into it. We’ll find out.